Image source Franz88
I’ve posted before about the importance of a tribe. In fact it was almost a year ago that my heart was stirred to share that post with you. I wonder if it’s something about summer days and moon lit nights that bring to mind a circle of love, united and gathered.
I posted on my personal facebook page this morning about my longing to sit in circle with my tribe. I have so many beautiful women in my life and they are all over this country. That is both amazing and painful. I want them here with me today. I want to hold hands and dance around a fire. I want to drink mojito’s with fresh mint and listen to records under twinkle lights. I want to laugh until we fall to the ground. (I also just watched Divine Secret’s of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. It’s a beautiful story and leaves me hungry for some a few Ya-Ya’s in my life)
My connections with the women that I love has shifted so much over my life. The last few years have brought the most changes. Some people have visibly walked out because they no longer understand who I am, some have simply gotten overwhelmed with things in their own lives, and some are still here but we just connect less. It’s the ebb and flow of how things are and I so get that. But I’ve also made the most soulful connections with women who travel, who parent kids from hard places, who are embarking on their own beginnings and who love a good campfire & great music.
I believe that some of this happens because we forget how valuable these relationships are. We forget that for centuries women have sat in circle with each other. It’s where the deepest healing’s occur, where the fattest tears are shed and where miracles occur. There is so much magical power in sitting with someone else who is willing to say “Yes, me too.”
Sometimes I think that we get to a point where we give up hope in having a circle, a real tangible circle. We take our past hurts and experiences and we form an inaccurate truth about our role and value in having this. But what if we each took one small step? What if instead of hoping to have one BEST friend, you made several connections with different people. I know for me there are so many people that don’t get my love for being a nomad, but if I connected in person with one other woman who “got it” then that would fill my void for needing to connect about traveling. Maybe I could reach out to one other mom who parented a child that came thru trauma. I might not be able to talk to her about my desire to get back on the road, but we could support each other when a tantrum is occurring in the Toys R Us parking lot. Maybe I could find one girl who wanted to meet at the park and hula hoop. BAM, look, I have a tribe. A tangible tribe.
What if you just make one small move to getting this going? What if each of us did? Send a message on facebook to one person who you’d love to connect with face to face. Make it happen. Throw all your change in a jar and start a “meet-up” fund. Lay aside the lies that you don’t have something to offer. Have a tender spot from a past friendship that turned sour? Heal it, love on it and then act on it. Go be a support, show up fully as you and open your heart to what might lie ahead.
I’m sending so much love to each of you reading this. I know it’s hard, I know our lives are busy and sometimes the geography of where we are is tough. But what if there is just one or two other girls in your tiny town or your big city waiting for you? I’m opening my hands and my heart and ready to sit in circle with my tribe. The idea of it is what’s carrying me today.
i feel a tribe retreat brewing. xoxo.
I will start throwing change in a jar to come sit under the bright moon and dance around fire with you;) I know there is so much we can share and learn from one another and from many other sister women out there.
Oh sister friend…you KNOW I can relate to this
I have often wished I could gather all of my friends from around the country in one place. I miss them all SO much. The connection felt when you have almost EVERYTHING in common is so strong. But as you have said…it’s ok to have ONE thing in common with a friend 
A good reminder for me. Love you. Love this space. Let’s get together!! As Jen said…Tribe Retreat!! Plan plan plan!
This post is so achingly beautiful, and speaks so deeply to where I am right now. Thank you!
I can relate to almost every one of your posts, and this one is no different. After a few years of travelling and living in different places, I’ve come to realize just how important relationships are; especially ones that can be had face-to-face. I need to be part of a “tribe”. Maybe one day I can help make that happen.
“Lay aside the lies that you don’t have something to offer.” This line in particular resonates so heartily with me. It’s so easy for me to think that I would be imposing if I suggested a gathering, that people will feel obligated to visit with me rather than choosing to do so freely. It’s so challenging when friends offer help (with my children, with moving house yet again) that I don’t take the offer for what it was: an opportunity to meet and visit.
Thank you for the reminder, Alicia. <3 <3 <3
Ok. Good. So I’m not alone in this. I’ve been driving myself crazy since the retreatshop, but especially over the last few weeks, trying to figure out how I can get my tribe going. I am craving it–so hungry for it. I did take a step and reach out to one woman, but I need to meet some more. I love the virtual connections I’ve made as well, but man, do I want someone to drink mojitos with in the twilight too
So here with you.
So well said!!! I just wish the need for other women was more easily met…
It seems so simple- most of us need & desire it.
You’re a beautiful writer & woman! I wanna go watch ya yas.
Thank you so much for being you. There are simply not enough.
xoxoxox
Jes
I don’t know how I stumbled upon this, but it’s exactly what I feel right now. I feel totally isolated & stranded away from my lovely friends and people I connected with. I’m tied here by a job and family, but I feel like a chained up animal. It’s nice to have some validation & support for that feeling, as well as some encouragement to make it stop.
i wanted to comment on this post when I first read it, but commenting from my phone is really hard and this is my first time at a real computer. So…
I have always had a lot of girlfriends – good girlfriends. There has been something missing over the past few years though, and I have come to realize that a big part of that is me. I have changed. Or maybe I have just gone in one direction where many of my friends have gone in others. Whatever the case, I am left with a big gaping hole in my life, a hole that seems to be filled only with virtual soul-filled connections, and I ache for those same connections in real life. So yes, I can relate with you. So so so much.
And in terms of the YaYas, I think it’s hilarious that you mention this because I have (no exaggeration) probably seen the film 30 times and read the books, oh, at least 4 or 5 times. (It’s funny to me because the film isn’t really my “type” stylistically, but man, I love it anyways.) Whenever I am in a funk, a low point, out of sync with the moon, whatever the cause – I put the film on and I weep with it. Or I read the book. In fact, I just finished read “Divine Secrets” at the beginning of July (for the 5th time). It gives me a connection I seem to long for often, especially in the summer.
( I see you have three women named ‘jenn’ on this blog with comments… that means something, i tell you, especially since Jennifer means white wave.. it could start a tidal…) Smile
I am just adding a comment here, because I truly believe in the POWER of TRIBES and have had several experiences in regard to them, and not because I am from a Tribe called Quest, or ancestrally a descendant from Africa. ( smile) Tribes intrigue me, too. This made me think of an old African proverb that speaks of encouragement and its healing process. I can explain it, but I think the link below will make it even more interesting: It speaks to one who fails and , and how if they are received and welcomed back. Have fun reading the quote: http://bonaishalom.org/content/reteaching-loveliness-%E2%80%93-yom-kippur-and-compassion-kol-nidre-5771